NaBloPoMo – November 2009

Ever since I read about NaNoWriMo a few years ago, I thought I’d have to participate some day. I don’t know if I ever will though. Not this year, that’s for sure, because I’ve been so busy writing that grad school assignment over the last few weeks, that I’m not inclined to start another long project right away. A few days ago in some blogs in my blog list, I read about taking part in the NaBloPoMo instead and I thought about giving that a try and revive the kind of neglected blog of mine. But then I thought about the couple of days of which I already know I’ll be offline and not able to post and discarded the idea of blogging every day during the months of November. Until LJ reminded me that there is such a thing as pre-scheduled blog posts. Why didn’t I think of that myself? I’m not sure I know my blog hosting services well enough to pull that off, but I’m willing to try. Luckily I already posted yesterday on November 1st, so here I go… (I probably would have posted that today anyway :-) )

And once again…

I was just starting to read about Hai_di’s new “firebolt” :-), when my mom called me on the phone. She wasn’t feeling well (nausea, cardiac arrhythmia) and didn’t know what to do and asked me  to come over. Oh well… I went over there, talked to her, called the ambulance, all things my brothers who still (or momentarily again) live in the same house could have done. If she had let them, which she didn’t, because she wasn’t sure and…

On the phone with the emergency hotline the I was told not to be alarmed, if the ambulance came with siren and flashing beacons, because that’s just what they are supposed to. When I told that to my mom, she was slightly panicky, not because she was feeling worse, but because someone would make such a fuss about her. ARGH! Sometimes I really want to shake some sense into her.

Anyway, the doctors came, did some exams and her heart was still beaten irregularily, her blood pressure was up, so there wasn’t much else they could do then to get her admitted to a hospital to check things out. Unfortunately as a patient (or family of a patient) in an emergency you can’t choose which hospital you are taken to. Well, we could choose between the two nearest, but the one where my mom already had been before (heart attack, bypass) was not an option, because it’s farther away.

Bro2 and I drove to the hopsital later to get her some clothes and all and to see how she was doing. At the hospital she was doing fine again. Just like she did when she was admitted as an emergency in July. But she obviously was not doing well at home, I saw the state she was in, so it was a good thing she got to the hospital and they can do some more tests. It doesn’t seem to be anything serious, it might be something off with her elektrolytes, maybe some meds have to be changed a bit… So I don’t worry too much right now. I’ll still won’t turn off my cell phone at night. Just in case… Ugh, that’s the thing I hate most about this kind of medical emergencies. I don’t want to worry and I don’t really worry, but subconsiously of course I DO worry. At least a tiny bit

*sings* “Hello out there, we’re on the air…

… it’s hockey night tonight”…

If you don’t know the song yet, check it out at youtube [it was the best I could find on short notice, but it shows how old the song is *g*]

I’m doing better today. As you might have figured from me singing :-) My heart seems to have calmed down a bit and so does the nausea. My body still doesn’t take a lot of strain though. I was out of breath and groggy from a 15 minute walk. This have to be the meds and I hope that will improve soon, because I’m usually walking around a lot and I don’t want to feel like I need extra oxygen, everytime I just leave the house. My bloodwork came back ok. I really have no idea what’s causing this at the moment.

News of the day… best news of the week(s, months)_ I managed to get my set-top-box running and am finally hooked up to digital cable TV. Besides the basic programs my landlord pays for I choose an additional package and I can finally finally finally watch hockey again. YAY! No German teams though. My brother’s got that package so I don’t need it as well. Especially as there are just 2 games a week on TV anyway.

I choose to get the package with ESPN America instead. They cover quite a bit of NHL hockey and even if I can’t watch live games (in the middle of my night) they also show the games “as live” during my daytime/evening. Yes, it’s not the same, especially when you already know the score and all, but still. It’s the NHL. Watching hockey. Hearing about hockey. And there also is “NHL on the fly”. I really have to get hold of the schedules and mark my calenders now…

Yesterday’s game San Jose @ Calgary will be on in about 15 minutes and I’m so looking forward to it. And especially to maybe finally getting an idea why sar_sunshine is so wild about the Flames and the Saddledome :-)

2nd Week of Sick Leave :-(

Well, that didn’t turn out like I planned. The corticosteroid IV actually helped with the MS attack, everything’s more or less ok on that front. I even handled the sideeffects (lack of sleep, restlessness) rather well, I thought. I could keep the muscle pain (from the ‘withdrawal’) in check with rest and some painkillers on Saturday.But yesterday afternooon my heart started to race. Or at least it felt like it did. It was beating fast and hard, like I had run a marathon. It really felt wrong and my heart didn’t calm down, even when I was going to bed and lying still. I also felt slightly nauseaous, which might have been caused by the racing heart and the growing panic, that it didn’t calm down. Or maybe the heart was beating so fast, because I was feeling nauseaous.

I went to my neuro this morning for the post IV bloodwork and also told him about my symptoms. He was sure that that this was caused by the meds I got last week, because that’s bascially what the do the bloodwork for: To check the elektrolytes (K/Na etc) status in my blood, which might have been messed up by the IVs. And a misbalance in elektrolytes can cause all sort of things. The bloodwork results won’t be back before tomorrow though.

Seize The Day (after IV 5)

It seems like it’s going to be a beautiful day today. At least it’s not raining, among the clouds the sun is shining. I’ve finished my corticosteroid cycle. Life is good. The meds were definitely working. Which made it easier to handle the sideeffects during the last few days. The vast lack of sleep. I only got another 5.5 hours tonight and hunger drove me out of bed around 6.30 AM. My mind is not really up yet, but it’s getting there. I feel unusual energized, which I always do after the 5th and last IV and before the dreadful withdrawal signs will start later this afternoon. The worst part of a heavy corticosteroid IV cylce, when every muscle from neck to hip feels sore. Really really sore, like I was used as a punching bag.
I should use the time until then to be productive. Use the energy. There is some work-related stuff, and local Greens stuff and the long forgotten termpaper. Plus dirty laundry and dishes and a messy apartment. I’m also tempted to visit a homeproduct retail store this afternoon. With all the time I’ve spent in front of the TV this week, I realized I really need something to put my feet on. Or I’ll ruin my back, the way I’m lounging in my armchair :-) This “thing” needs to be put out of the way easily though, because of the crowed space in my room. I’ve got some idea what to use. Not a real stool or table, because these might be to heavy to push it around whenever I’m going to leave my spot in front of the TV and want to do something else.

Am I the only one who is surprised about the big 100th episode spoiler Shonda Rhimes is supposed to have announced yesterday? Not suprised about the spoiler itself, but just about the fact that she just said it. Which totally spoiles the surprise, doesn’t it? But she probably knows why she did it. I hope she does :-)

Oh, well I should get going. Have some real breakfast instead of just the apple I had to satisfy my growling stomach an hour ago. Get out of my pjs, take a shower. Seize the day…

IV 4 & US Presidents…

Four done, one left to go tomorrow. I was so groggy last night, went to bed around 10.45 pm and got about 5 and 1/2 hours of sleep last night. Plus some short naps for the rest of the night, well morning actually. But it definitely was in improvement. I felt rather relaxed, when I got up. At least for the situation I’m in. And the corticosteroids help to keep the tiredness at bay during the day. I was actually feeling up to think about some stuff. About local politics and budgets and such. Vast improvement to the days earlier this week, which were only spent with watching DVDs. I love watching DVDs, but when you know you could and actualyl should spent the day more productive, it makes you feel bad to not be able to just that.

Anyway, today I did. I also spent some time doing Facebooks quizzes. Pointless I know, but fun every once in a while. And one made me laugh so hard, because the question which West Wing character I am, was answered with… no, not Donna Moss, but Jed Bartlet himself. Which is especially funny at the moment, with me on MS sick leave and all. And there wasn’t even a question about health problems.  But I’m obviously presidental material… :-)

IV 3 And Random Thoughts on LOST…

It’s a weird day today. I got about four and a half hour sleep last night and lay awake in bed for the reminder of the night. Heard the guy in the flat upstairs get up around 5.30 am, heard the birds sing and twitter, but also the wind and rain and snow outside. ARGH. It’s late March, it’s spring, why does this nasty winter weather have to return now. It stayed nasty till about an hour ago, when suddenly the sun beamed out of the clouds. Well at least it tried to beam. It looks lighter outside. Question is: For how long….?

Even though I’m lacking a lot of sleep I’m feeling not too bad today. Drugged up, but at least not too listless and not too hyper. Something in between, which feels strange, but might actually help to get some minor things done. Prepare my income tax return and things like that. Send some mails. Easy stuff… I’m even up to reading again, which I couldn’t get myself to do the days before. Because my brain was either too tired or too busy with other thoughts. The things some meds do to you. But I have the feeling that the meds are actually helping, so I shouldn’t complain… I’m afraid they will have to take another vein tomorrow though, which sucks. I’m left-handed and prefer to have the IV on my right arm, but it looks like the inside of my arm around the vein is starting to bruise. I guess I’ll have to wait what the medical assistent thinks about that tomorrow…

During the waking hours this morning I suddenly thought about some LOST stuff. Don’t ask me why…

IV 1 and 2 …

Yesterday and today I have had the first two IVs of corticosteroid to lessen the effects of my current MS attack and I’m doing ok so far. My sense of taste doesn’t seem that badly messed up as the last times. Everything I eat still has a slightly metallic taste to it, but it’s just a slightly taste. Yesterday I spend the early afternoon to take care of some Local Greens stuff, delegating meetings and assignments I can’t work on at the moment, because I’m just not up to it. After that I spent the rest of the day catching up with the last three Brothers & Sisters episodes I’m really worried about Robert and Kitty now. Really worried.
I actually wanted to go to bed rather earlier, because my body was getting tired. But my mind wasn’t… Stupid meds. So I didn’t turn in before 11.30 pm. I woke up around 2.30 am and couldn’t really go back to sleep again. I dozed of for approx. 20-30 minutes several times, but it wasn’t really relaxing and so I got up with a pounding headache. Stupid, stupid meds.

At least I’m the only patient at my neuro’s practice to get IVs at the moment, so I don’t have to endure boring or annoying and forced conversations in the mornings. I can read and listen to my Harry Potter audiobook and just pass the time somehow in private. And I even still had the energy to cook some lunch today. Yay me! But now I’ll retreat to my comfy armchair, with a book, some chocolatey stuff and forget about the crazy, nasty and not-spring-like weather outside. And I’ll most probably will finally continue my visits to the West Wing tonight. I haven’t been there for a while…

Medical issues…

It seems like the busy weeks and all the stress are taking a toll on me. Or at least on my central nervous system and my immune system. Because after only five months I’m having a new acute MS attack at the moment :-(
It’s not that bad and it sort of sneaked into my life without me really realizing it at first. My legs felt unusual heavy last week, but I thought that it had been caused by overstraining my legs. But even when I took it slow it didn’t get better and I noticed that walking up and down steps felt unusual difficult. I also noticed that my legs kind of cramped when I got up after sitting for a longer period of time and it took me a few seconds to actually feel like I can move them they I used to. This was and is a completely new symptom for me, which feels strange, but didn’t and still doesn’t worry me that much. I almost worry more about the fact that I’m not overly worried. Yes, my brain works in strange ways sometimes. I’m even more worried about the strange pain and numb feeling in my shoulder, which must be an ortho thing or something like that. Because it just occurs every now and then. But it got worse, which irritates me a little …

What did I do to deserve this… ?

I either did something wrong during my workout yesterday or when I lounged in my armchair last night… My lower back hurts again. Not all the time but at certain movements and then pretty much, which sucks. I hope the heat plaster will help a bit and I also hope that standing around at the hockey game tonight won’t make it worse. We’ll see… I’m scheduled for the back test at the gym on Monday, but I’m not sure if I can do that, when my lower back is not quite feeling allright. I’d love to be able to ask Callie Torres to fix it, she could fix a dislocated shoulder, she might also be able to fix some blocked vertebraes… :-)

Anyway, for those (two or more) among my readers who are doing Kieser Training as well, this is my program.

A3, B1, B7, F2, C3, C5, D6, G5.

Anyone who can’t decipher this code and still wants to know how I torture myself, can check it out here (english) or here (german). You’ll have to click on the various body parts to get to the various exercises.