Infinite Loop

I start to feel like I’m trapped in a very boring life. The thing is, I know my life is pretty ordinary and I usually don’t mind that at all. Because I usually find more than enough extraordinary moments or people to make this – my  – life very much worth living. Usually. But at the moment my life doesn’t feel extraordinary. Or if it does, it’s not in a good way. I guess what’s most annoying is, that it seems to be on a constant repeat. Or something like an infinite loop. I feel like I don’t do anything else than

  • going to work (and there seem to screw up some of my assignments repeatedly and beat myself up about it more than necessary),
  • campaigning for my local Greens
  • organizing some events for job#2 from my home office

and in the meantime be in a constant and unexplainable crappy mood. Yes, some of the workload is overwhelming, but whining about it doesn’t really help getting the work done. I know that and I still tend to whine and indulge in self-pity. Well, a part of me does. The other part doesn’t have any solution how to overcome this constant underlying “my life sucks” attitude. If it were later in the year, I’d blame it on something like atumn melancholy. But it’s the middle of the summer even though it doesn’t really feel like it. Maybe that’s part of the problem *sigh*

The only thing that’s keeping me entertained to some degree at the moment is book 6 of the Outlander series, even though it’s probably my least favourite so far. Parts of the plot seem so drawn out to me. Everytime I think they might finally get some peace and quiet, there is either a conspiracy or someone is getting kidnapped or injured or accused of some crime and so on. I still care deeply about the main characters and their families though and I could never give up reading this (at the moment) last book of the series, because I want to know what happens to them. I have to admit I might even give the Lord John Grey series a try as well, because I like him a lot in the Outlander series and like I said I just care about these characters.

Some things to look forward to: This afternoon I bought my train ticket to Munich, where I will watch the “Deutschland Cup” (hockey tournament) in November. I’m travelling with Bro1, his girlfriend and his group of hockey friends, most of whom have been part of my travel group to Canada last year as well. I’m the only one going by train though, because I’m determined to not take a plane within Germany (or even Europe) when there is a way to travel by train as well. My contribution to fight the climate change and all. It’s still a three months ahead, but I’m looking forward to the trip anyway. Maybe book232 would like to meet me for a coffee or drinks or anything on Saturday 7th November?
And talking about meeting online-pals. Tomorrow ich_unterwegs and I will finally finally meet for drinks as well. We talked (well not really talked like in oral communication with each other *g*) about that since the beginning of the year. Or even in December? Anyway, we will finally meet and I’m really looking forward to that. And to the Happy Hour, because some nice cocktails might actually help me as well to overcome this crappy mood.

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3 responses to “Infinite Loop

  1. well i think you can call it “talk”!
    and i’m looking forward to it as well although i go by car to essen tomorrow, and take an aeroplane to munich on saturday morning :-)

  2. Oh, I know that feeling – just spinning your wheels and getting nowhere. One thing that has helped me is to live the life you wish you were living. Think about the things that will make you happy (or if you don’t know what that is, try things until you find what you like). Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone can be terrifying but also get you out of a rut. A few years ago, I signed up to take a 12-week cooking class, and now I can make amazing food. I met all sorts of new folks in the process. Maybe try something you’ve never done before?
    I’ll shut up with my advice now ;)

    • I don’t know if I’m ready to push myself out of my comfort zone right now :-) I’d love to get back in the mood for working on my grad school stuff, as nerd-y as that sounds. I hope to get most of the campaigning stuff done this week, at least all the stuff that requires my brain.

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