For almost a week I’m planning to write this blog post and never got around to do it. I was either too busy or too tired to actually write it. I hate being too busy or too tired to blog. Not that I have a lot to write about at the moment except moping about how stressful my life is, but I’d still like to be able to at least write about that. I hope that part of the stress will be over tomorrow, even though I already thought the stress would lighten on several occasions before now and that never happened. But I don’t want to give up hope anyway :-)
The past weeks have kept me busy with our Green election campaign, but the local elections are finally going to take place in my federal state tomorrow, so all of this work is done. Hopefully with a good result for us, but I really can’t make any prediction yet. We’ll have to wait until tomorrow evening to know how it all turned out for us. We only get a short break, well no break actually, because we have to keep campaigning for the federal elections at the end of September. But that’s not going to be such a workload than the local campaign. All of it will still keep me busy at work as well, but I’m still confident hopeful that the stress will lighten a bit after tomorrow. It just has to.
I wanted to write this blog post since Monday afternoon, but I just never got around to do so. Even tonight I was tempted to postpone it for another day, but I have quite a few things scheduled or planned tomorrow and I was afraid this post would stay unwritten for another day. I don’t even have anything important to write about, just lots and lots of everyday madness. More than usual probably, otherwise I would have gotten around writing this post early than late Friday night..
I’m once again kind of busy at work. Not in the sense of a huge amount of work to do, but in the sense of a variety of different smaller tasks, which I have to coordinate and most of all keep track of. I am usually good at organizing and coordinating, but this time this stuff just wears me down. I spent all of my Tuesday evening to finish an urgent job from my “home office”. At least someone else offered to take over planning and organizing the event, I complained about last week. And I’m grateful for that, because on Monday I realized that I messed up another job I had to do. Messed up big time. At least that’s what it felt like to me even though looking back on it, it wasn’t really that bad and there was no harm done and I could fix it all. But it still upset me. I was working so thoroughly on all but one aspects of the job and … Boom! I messed that one up. Like I said, there was no harm done and everyone involved probably forgot my mishap within minutes. Not me, though, I was beating myself up for the rest of the day. I’m just one of those persons who can’t let it got, when they mess up. But at least I’m over it by now :-)
Besides work I was insanely busy with various stuff of my local Greens. We have local elections coming up and we still hadn’t put up our elections posters around town. So that’s what I basically spent doing Monday night, yesterday evening and a couple of hours this afternoon. There is some other election campaigning stuff I’ll have to take care of and I will have to do that on the weekend. I was actually planning to do some of the stuff tonight, but there is no way I could concentrate on that tonight.
There are so many different blog posts in my head, but I just never got around to write them this week. Or I didn’t feel like writing or I didn’t know how to put my thoughts into words. And I’m not even talking about the idea for a post I had even two weeks ago and still haven’t written yet. This will be one of these posts with various topics. They also might seem rather random…
We had an eventful week at work. Not a lot of big events took place, but some bigger issues were solved. For the better I hope. I still feel bad about some things, I neglected to do or forgot about. Maybe I need some re-organisation of my field and schedules as well. And I definitely need to keep better track of assignments and to-do-lists and such. Yeah, I still feel bad. And then I’m annoyed that I feel that bad, because in my mind these mishaps always are bigger and I messed up much worse than I actually did. My screwed up mind and low self-esteem just like to make me feel worse than I actually have to. On the other hand, it’s a good thing that I at least catch my mind playing these dirty tricks on me and I can take a step back and re-evaluate and in most cases realize that it’s not all that bad. I don’t know… I just spend quite some time thinking about these things this week and how I can change my way of thinking and feeling.
I also spent a lot of time listening to a song I heard for the first time on Tuesday. Well, according to last.fm I have listened to it four times during the last three years, but I honestly don’t remember. on Tuesday evening though I was enjoying the sunny weather outside on my patio, I had just painted my toe nails (because it’s freaking summer, even though it doesn’t feel like it since Wednesday) and was listening to a really great song collection on my personal last.fm station on my wireless headphones. Life was good.
Suddenly there was this new song, which I liked from the start and during the second verse I was totally hooked. The song is “Calling You” by Blue October. [follow the link to listen to the complete song on last.fm]. And it was one of these moments you can’t explain, at least I always have a hard time explaining why I’m crazy about a song. It might be the lyrics or the music or the voice or a combination of all of it. I can’t say. Maybe I was and still am just in the right mood to like a song about being madly in love. Which I am not at the moment, so maybe the song should rather make me depressed. But it doesn’t. Not at all. I just love it.