Let’s see what’s keeping me busy at the moment.
Work. Two jobs and in both there is a lot going on right. There is a lot to organize and deadlines to keep and just a lot of things to get done.
Local Politics / Green Party: Besides the usual town council work, the municipal budget debate started last week in all committees and the town council. Which means a lot more preperation and discussion among us Greens. We will be spending the whole weekend away, discussing the budget and working on additional proposals and stuff.
We’re also in the midst of preparing the election campaign, because there is supposed to be local election in early June. We are way behind with our preparation, and haven’t even finished putting together our electional programme. That’s one of the reasons I keep my fingers crossed for the State Constitutional Court tomorrow to rule in favour of postponing the election date till September. Well, there are a lot of other reasons why local elections in June were a stupid idea. Reasons based on my comprehension of democracy and all, but I have to admit, our lack of prepration definitely calls for voting later in the year :-)
We are also planning a special “Carbondioxide Lent” campaign with a few smaller events. It sounded like a great idea at first and I still think it is. We just haven’t really managed to organize that many events yet, not to mention we haven’t prepared any press and PR stuff yet.
I think the major problem with all this is, that our local Green Party consists of just a few people and even of those there are just 4-5 who are actively actually doing anything. Sometime I feel like I am the only person who is doing anything. Well or at least I think I’m the only person who is aware of how many things are not done, although they should be.
Once again I have the distinct feeling that my life sucks. I can’t really say why. Well, I can, but it probably doesn’t make sense, because it seems like it would be easy to do something about it. My inability to do just that, ist what sucks the most, I guess. I feel overstrained by so many things I have to do. All of them rather ordinary, nothing super special, nothing too complicated or too difficult. I guess it’s just the sum of all the crap. I’m beyond annoyed by my colleague. I’m too tired now to explain what’s the problem. Believe me I actually tried, but it’s complicated to explain. The thing is, that he obviously doesn’t get why his behaviour annoys me. On the other hand: I’m too nice to actually call him out on his crap. I like him. Basically. It’s just… ARGH! But I’m annoyed about it, and then I’m mad at myself, that I don’t tell him, that it’s annoying. Maybe it will help that we have a meeting with our bosses this week. Not about that stuff, but it probably will come up anyway.
I’ve got a bunch of different assignments in job#2. None of them is a big deal, it’s just the sum of them together. I feel like I’m constantly forgetting something. And I am. Which could be avoided if I just work more diligently on all of that. And there are a couple of things to do in the local politics part of my life. Quite many actually. Various council meetings, electorial campaigns that have to be organized and even more meetings.. Once again I feel like I’m losing track of the things I have to do and who I have to meet up with. I probably just have to get my everyday life better organized. I’m usually good at organizing, and I don’t know why I’m not capable to just do that in my life at the moment. Recently I haven’t spent any time working on the grad school assignments, which are due in April / May. Continue reading
A long time ago (in my german blog) I already wrote about that song and how much it helps me to unwind. It’s time to mention it again…
There’s a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout ’cause you’re just as far in as you’ll ever be out
And these mistakes you’ve made, you’ll just make them again
If you only try turning around.
But you can’t jump the track, we’re like cars on a cable,
And life’s like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
Breathe (2AM) – Anna Nalick
I try and have to just breathe more often than I’d like to recently…
Today is the first night in eight days that I’m home before 9 PM. I don’t know what to do with all these hours before bedtime :-) But then I look around my dusty and messy apartement and see the stacks of laundy which has to be ironed and I think about all the mails or papers I have to write. And then I just want to curl up and try to block out all that stuff and just be. Not do anything. Just breathe :-)
Unfortunately I can’t afford that luxury, not unless some leprechauns turn up and do the work for me. ALL the work. At least it’s not too stressful at the office at the moment so I can’t complain too much. Still some of the things I have to do (not at work but on the local politics and postgraduate side of my life) seem to ask too much of my time. I don’t know if it’s really too much work or if I just have to work on my time-management. I’m afraid the latter…
When I got back home last night, I was too tired to rant. Although I felt like ranting and bitching about some stuff, I just couldn’t get myself to sit down and try to transform this anger and annoyance into words. Words which would make sense if they were strung together. So, I didn’t rant last night, but watched another Lynley mysteries DVD instead. With this rate I should order season 3 already, but I should be reasonable and watch some other stuff instead. Or spend more time working through the study material for the Engery 2 course. But if I was too tired to rant, I definitely was too tired to study.
After a more or less good nights sleep most of the anger wore off, although some of the stuff causing it, did not. I’m still extremly annoyed by my co-workers work attitude. It’s not that I can’t work without him, or use the office hours for other stuff *g*, when there isn’t that much to do. But it still would be nice to be able to talk to him every once in a while. In person. For more than just 30 seconds. I need feedback on some stuff, before I can continue working on it, and I don’t want to do it all over again later, when he disagrees with what I had in mind. Continue reading
Being a Green Party member of the towncouncil where the majority consists of narrow-minded and pig-headed democrates and conservatives calls for a thick skin. I don’t have that yet and don’t know if I’ll ever get one. Sometimes, especially before an heated debate over a controversial topic I think I’m way too thin-skinned for politics (and way too stupid and unintelligent and all the worse things anyone can think of themselves).
But strangely enough, during the debate I usually take the (low) blows pretty well. And there always are low blows, because that’s what they turn to, when they are running out of arguments. It’s so obvious it’s almost funny, but I don’t have that thick of a skin to laugh about it. But it doesn’t really bother me on a personal (self-perception) level and that feels really good. I’m just once again surprised over how low they stoop to counter any of our arguments. And not surprised in a positive way. It’s appalling actually. But I guess that’s politics :-)