Tag Archives: Venting

My MS Is Really Trying to Kick My Butt This Year

When I got my first Tysabri IV on 3rd June I didn’t naively believe that it would manage to stop my MS from progressing right away. I knew it would take some time for this medication to take effect and that I might even have relapses while I’m on it. I did not however expect a relapse just little over a week after I got the first IV of this new MS wonder drug! But exactly that happened and it’s so not fair and it sucks! Big time.
I had such a hard time making up my mind about if I want to try this new drug in the first place and I spend most of February and the beginning of March thinking and worrying about it and trying to cope with the fact that my MS is progressing much more than I believed it did. I spend most of February in a rather dark place and I was so happy when I finally got out of it and managed to put the whole MS issue in the back of my mind again, where it belongs, because I don’t want this issue to rule my life. And then… The MS strikes once more. I admit that right now I’m not just concerned about the current symptoms and but also insanely mad that I have an MS attack at all! After all the mental and emotional crap it already had put me through this year. I am so pissed off!

Continue reading

Food For Thought…

I have many more questions I’m trying to answer at the moment. Some are important, some mundane and some rather insignificant, but I thought writing about those could be a good way trying to get back into the blogging mood and to post more often and not just when I’ve watched a new episode of Grey’s Anatomy :-) Which is already the cue for the first question.
[Just to be clear, I’m not really expecting you, who are reading this , to answer the questions for me, but suggestions and comments are always welcome. Especially for the 3rd question, answers are basically essential *g*.]

Continue reading

What A Crappy Day!

Around 2 pm I thought this post would be just a long list of which people drove me nuts today and how they managed to do it. I was so so cranky, actually from the start of the day when I woke up after not enough sleep and with a sore shoulder. No idea what I did to my shoulder in my sleep, but it was bothering me. I got up 30 minutes earlier than usual, because I thought the earlier I get to the stuffy office, the earlier I can leave it again. My brain obviously didn’t function properly due to the lack of sleep. I was so clumsy and forgetful and distracted and shouldn’t have left the house this morning :-) If you follow me on twitter you might have read the shorthand version of parts of my day, here is the full version :-)

I had to hurry to catch the train, so I had to switch of the computer before I had finished reading all the news / blogs / fanfics etc I usually browse or actually read in the morning. When I got on the train I got my book out of my bag and put it on the seat next to me, but went online with my smart phone first to finish reading some stuff. I forgot the book on the seat, when I got off this train to switch to another one. *headdesk* I noticed it after just a few minutes, but of course the train had left the station again already. I went to the information desk and asked the guy behind the counter where this train was and if he could make sure that some official on the train pick up the book and return it to me. He asked me which train I was on and made some calls, but didn’t manage to get a hold of anyone. He told me to come back later in the afternoon.
Continue reading

Wonders of Modern Technology

Yes, I did it. I bought a UMTS USB adapter thing (whatever you call that in English. I’m sure the “german” term – surf stick – is NOT what it’s called though *g*). Anyway from now on I can not only be online everywhere with my smart phone but also with my netbook. When I want to. And the way I know me, I will want to. So little self control. * sigh* I might put it to good use in a little while and post this entry while I’m still sitting on the train back home. After a loooong day at work with an even longer meeting (why do these people have to use so many words every time *sigh again*.

Continue reading

I’m so so sick of this weather!!

If I could I would definitely be hibernating till the end of March. I’m so so sick of this weather. I usually love snow. As long as it stays white and fluffy. But as soon as the cars drive through it or people walk over the snowcovered earth, the winter wonderland starts to disolve. Add a rise in temperatures, partially melted snow, new snow/rain and it all turns into just one big nasty mess! Ugh! Hate, hate, hate it today!

The stress of the business trip last week might have shot my immune system, because since I got back on Sunday I’ve got a nasty cold. I stopped counting how many Kleenex I already needed today and the day isn’t over yet. This all of course messes with my plan to keep working on that presentation, I have to give in 10 days. I just can’t concentrate on that at the moment, especially not after a day at work and getting back home on public transport in this nasty weather. Today I obviously couldn’t even remember which metro line I have to get on to get to the university library nor to get my umbrella of the floor when I had to change trains on my way back home. *headdesk* When I got off at my station I wanted to take a taxi home, just to hear that there are no free taxis available for the next 30 minutes. Of course due to the weather conditions bus service was shut down as well, so I had to walk home (without umbrella) after all. Ugh!

Continue reading

Finally found something to cheer me up…

I should avoid checking my bank account at the moment. A few days ago I got the last credit card bill with all the expenses of my Scotland vacation. And today I spent another 150 EUR on a whim. But I just had to, because otherwise this day and this week would have ended in such a grumpy mood again. I needed something to cheer me up!

At work I’m in charge of organizing / coordinating some smaller events which will take place in August. One of my colleagues – lets call him A – suggested I ask person B from another organization to develop part of the concept. B willingly and enthusiastically agreed to do it and I mailed him the details of the task he offered to take care of. I didn’t hear anything from him for a few days and when I called him last week, he told me, that he passed on the task to person C from yet another NGO and that C would get back to me this week. Ok…
After a few mails and messages left on mailboxes I finally managed to talk to C this afternoon, just to find out that B didn’t really brief him what the task was and that he will be away on vacation for the complete next week. Which in the end means that I have to take care of all the stuff on my own after all. I could have already worked on that during the last two weeks, but of course I counted on B + C to keep the promise to take care of this stuff.
What really really pissed me off though was that when I informed colleague A about the whole back and forth, he just told me, that this was person B’s typical behaviour: promising to do something but not following through but pass the job on to somebody else. Hello ?!?! You suggested to ask B for help. You could have also told me that nothing would come from it. Actually you could have just not suggested B as help in the first place and I would have taken care of the stuff on my own. So f*cking unbelievable!

Continue reading

My life sucks!

I want to go back to Scotland. There was sunshine and no stupid work and no health scares for my mom and I had such a great time. Back home here though… *sigh* My mom had to be hospitalized again yesterday, which of course ruined the relaxed mood I still was in from the vacation. Bro3 called me in the morning to let me know that he’d take her to the GP who sent her to the hospital. Her heart is acting up again and even though the GP didn’t think it’d be a real emergency she wanted to make sure.
And it’s not an emergency, but still has to be checked out. My mom’s bloodwork show that something’s not quite right, but the heart ultrasound and the cardiac catheterization didn’t show any serious problems within her heart. We feared that the her arteries and the bypass might already be blocked again, but that’s obviously not the case. Thank God. She doesn’t feel so bad at the moment either, but she had a really bad time yesterday morning, though this definitely has to be checked out.
The hospital she was treated before couldn’t admit her for some reason so she is in another one now. Which is probably just as good, but I don’t get there as easily with public transport. Which sucks regarding visiting and all. This all sucks anyway!

The work situation isn’t much better. I was working on several projects before I left and asked my coworkers to continue working on those and left rather details memos and reports and all. And I get back and it feels like I haven’t left, because none of the projects have really been worked on. I was hoping these were finished by the time I get back, but… no! I don’t know, maybe that was a wrong expectation. Anyway I was rather frustrated, because now i have to get back into it all. I couldn’t really concentrate much on work yesterday (with my mom in the hospital and not knowing how bad the situation really was), and even today I wasn’t really motivated. Which also frustrated me as well. Sometimes I really need someone to kick my ass and tell me to get to work! Don’t let me start writing about various other things (Greens, Grad School) which I have to work on…. I was so so happy in Scotland without all these thoughts :-)

But at least during all these I finally managed to type my short travel diary (locations, sights etc) into a proper word doc, so I’m able to remember where I was at what time :-) and to sort my photos and put together a collection to show around to friends and family. It’s still a large collection and I’ll most definitely will reduce it even worther for my ipernity account and will only show even fewer photos here. So don’t worry. And I will start with a few London and Glasgow pic in a new post, before I will take a relaxing bath and escape to the time of Jamie and Claire for a little while…